Thursday, September 2, 2010

From The Other Woman


We have been called everything from home wrecker to slut to whore or whatever other degrading word you can think of. I'm the 'other woman' the 'bitch on the side' or most referred to as the 'sideline'. I'm ready to tell our side and why we do what we do and while I cant speak for everyone I can offer general knowledge of what goes on in the other woman's mind. If you cant handle the truth stop reading now before you get your feelings hurt.

First let me say most of us don't choose to be on the side and once we find out we are too deep in to just leave. We're offered false promises and are lied to about our position in their life. As far as we are concerned we were the most important and we were betrayed. The choice to still carry on with them when you find out your number two is involuntary and living a dream.

Then there are the ones like me who know and don't care. If I can get him to cheat I can get him to leave. When I see something I want I go for it and don't care about a ring on his finger or his relationship status because those things can be adjusted. As far as if he has children, not my kid, not my problem. Obviously there's something she's not doing for him that I can. And for the people who say you lose them how you get them, you wont as long as you do what you been doing that got them in the first place.

There are some of us who are just in it for the sex, period. You don't want to suck his dick, I will. You don't take it up the ass, I do. Its simple stuff like that which will make him cheat on you with me and I am more than willing to accept him when he comes. We don't want a relationship an when we see him getting too caught up we leave them for the next one with a girl at home. We just want the dick, you can deal with his emotions and bull crap like that.

Any woman can end up as the 'other woman', life is just uncertain like that. Whether you chose to be or not there are many of us out there and we are not going away. My advice is to do what your man wants. Sexually and emotionally, make him feel like a king and he wont stray. We fill the positions your lacking in. If more women just listened and tried to do what their man is asking of them they wouldn't have a need for any other woman because you would be their super woman.

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

This shit is so true!!!!! Ive been the other woman b4 it kinda bothered me when i found out about it but after that i was kinda fun trynna hide it from his girlfriend of 7 years...she couldnt make him happy so i did it with no problem! Paid for my schooling and bought me a lovely house and 3 different kind of cars! if you lay it down and give it to him how he wants it youll get WHAT EVER YOU WANT!!!!

Anonymous said...

I do not believe that Man cheat because their legal wife/GF cannot give what they want. They cheat because they are bad. They cheat because they want to prove to everybody that they can get/buy other woman especially those rich guys. To other woman, ask yourself why your man cannot leave their wife/gf? The answer is simple, THEY (genuinely) LOVE THEM not you. So please, do not believe on their false hope. Do not be blinded because of money. Do the right thing.

Anonymous said...

WOW never looked at it that way... I know Im lost as to whats right and whats wrong these days but I'm not going to take what's not mine.. I know that God has something in store for me incredible and I'm not willing to mess that up for anyone especially a cheating man. Karma is a bitch. do what you do. And if my man ever whats to have the best of both worlds I'll make it easy for him :dueces: I don't play that cheating ish. Money don't make me I make it. And no man can buy me or make up my self respect.

Anonymous said...

I think this post is kinda bullshit. You make it sound as if the man cheats because it's his girl's problem, when however, they guy cheats because he is low life scum who has no morals. This blog would've been better if you left out the "treat your man like a king and he won't cheat on you" bullshit because then you're bringing in more of a resolution rather than what "the other woman" thinks, in which this blog is suppose to be about.

Anonymous said...

a man cheats because he wants to.. no matter how his woman treats him.. no matter if he's sexually or emotionally satisfied.. it's never a woman's fault to be cheated.. and never a woman to be blamed for.. mostly men are just cheaters..

Anonymous said...

I completely understand this, its written from the other woman's point of view and just by her being the other woman she already lives in a delusional world. She's saying wat she thinks not for u to agree or not. I think the ending was perfect because she's just trying to co-sign wat is already bs. Everyone cheats for a reason, she's not saying why men cheat, she's just explaining the other womans point in doing wat she does. Kudos to whoever the author of this was.

Lady Estrogen said...

I was OK until she mentions about filling a position that the wife is lacking in - I know someone already commented, but it is NOT the wife's fault that he cheats - Come on now! If you want to be the 'other woman' - fine! If you want to exchange your body for money, cars and other bling - fine!
Do whatever the fuck you want to, but it's about the choices of the man, not the short-comings of the wife.

Where I have a serious issue is when the 'other woman' is actually friends, or even best friends with the wife - that shit isn't cool, no matter which way you want to selfishly put it.

Anonymous said...

I think everyone is completely missing the point, I agree with whoever said the post is not about why men cheat, but rather wat goes on in the other womans's mind.

Anonymous said...

People need to face the fact that ppl(man or woman) cheat because something is lacking in the other person. Its not right, but it is wat it is.

JustyyCee said...

I think this is bullshit.. the same man you treating as King is treating your ass like a step child...i'm definitely not one to judge and i read with a open mind... but seriously you gone make it seem as the ladies aren't doing enough?..shut that shit up..

Anonymous said...

i read this about 3 times and as a woman i am still not offended in any way, if a woman is saying shes the other woman of course shes gonna blame the other woman for why her man is coming to her. if ur man was completely happy with u he wouldnt cheat, point blank. sorry but thats how i see it.

Thoughts In My Mind said...

For the most part i agree with your blog but the part about "do what your man wants and try him like a king and he wouldnt cheat" is where you lost me because communication is key in a happy relationship. If my man isn't happy to the point where cheating is even a option then i would hope he could talk to me first and tell me he's not happy. I shouldnt have to kiss his ass just keep him from finding the "other women"

J.Shanise said...

I hear what the chick said but I fail to understand what goes on in the 'other woman's mind'. What pleasure do you get from having someone else's partner...with all of the men in the world, you can't be with a single one...you choose to be someone who runs to you when its convienient for him and leaves in the same manner? What kind of lonely, self-hating person are you. You deserve to have that one person who is exclusively for you, so why mess that up for another family. If he does that to his wife, all the anal and head in the world will not keep him coming back to you...he's gonna find someone fresher and you will come out with nothing. Meaning with all the conniving you did, you will have ziltch to show for it, maybe an std, restraining order,or a baby that he will not acknowledge. "My sugar daddy gave me money and 3 cars"...big whoop. Get some morals, grab some values, and some self respect! And all you people that co-signed this applies to you also! I am a faithful woman, anything my man desires or needs, I supply him, so all that the girl/wife don't do those things, that's false, I go over and above! Being a bust-down doesn't make you special...your just another name-less face on a list!!!!

Anonymous said...

I LOVE-LOVE-LOVE!this blog! this is so true. I've always been the other woman and I'm the one who is just in it for sex. I never want the dude cuz i know if he's doing this with me that he'll do this with someone else. I never felt like i was filling in the areas the girl was lacking. if they want their boyfriend they can have him for a lifetime i just want for a moment. I never thought i was the only one cuz i was never that dumb!And for the record you cant always hate the other girl for sleeping with your man. Especially if your man pursued her!

Anonymous said...

I think you are the most pathetic excuse for a human being I have EVER in my life heard of. Women, sorry, GIRLS like you will NEVER amount to anything in life as far as a serious and emotional relationship is concerned. I am sick to my stomach reading this post and I never wish bad on anyone but you, you will reap what you sow. It is only a matter of time !

Anonymous said...

smh...i guess only those who choose to remain the other woman will understand the last part of this blog...i dnt think u will ever understand what it is like to me the main chick caz it seems like u dont have a problem with being a sideline ho.u can do everything the man wants & he'll still cheat on u or treat u like shit...u make it sound as if the man is always right & the woman has to do everything to please the man...bullshit

Anonymous said...

First of all, ANY woman who takes pride in screwing another woman's man for his money is a trifflin, helpless hopeless HO! Rather than take care of yourself you not only rely on a man but someone else's?! Wow you're so social lol! You get to be a part-time piece of trash that paid to be a secret AND that's gets to wait around for whenever HE makes time for YOU! So after lying to the wife/gf THEN you get his attention...& you actually brag about that? If that's all you wish to be then hey have at it. But dont try to justify being a piece of trash by saying it's the wife/gf fault. Its simple: you're an insecure whore who can't get your own man!

Anonymous said...

if u can't cook in your own kitchen another girl will! PERIOD

Anonymous said...

WOW !! This is by far, the realest blog I think I have ever come upon. I am so appreciative to have bumped into this blog, because hearing someone else in your position send a big relief. I, being an unintentional "sidechick" at one point in my life, can relate 100 %. Never thought I'd play that role, never intended to take that role, but as stated, we are sold false dreams, and before we know it, we are caught up & can't let go.

Anonymous said...

i love this!!! just found out that i was the other woman and it hurt so bad because i honestly believed i was his one and only. i knew about the kids but he told me he wasn't with their mother. so many missing pieces started being filled in after i found out. but i love him so really didn't care. i was gonna be mad for a few days but planned on getting things back to the way it was. i did everything that he ever asked of me except for the last... staying out of his life.

Rena said...

maybe in some cases a man may cheat for those reason's.. but in order for the side woman to feel good about what she is doing, I think she is blaming the wife for not doing what her husband wants! reality check sweetie... he's still there, and hasn't left.. and might not... each situation is different.. your on the side.. and if he wants to buy you things and you want to be the sex kitten it's your choice! you should consider prostitution!

Anonymous said...

I believe this 100%...I dated a man who was in a relationship with his gf for almost 5 years. Let me first say that initially I did not know he was in a relationship because he made me believe that I was his One and Only, His Main chick, His baby, etc. I got caught up emotionally and sexually and when i found out i was disgusted. But i still stayed with him. I delt with bullshit and drama for a year and i still am dealing with it. Theres a reason why hes attached to me even though he has a gf, and theres a reason why til this day hes still attached to me. I know that he cares about me, and im still hanging on. I try to move on but im stuck. Obviously im giving him something that his gf is not. And thats the truth. Its degrading and i feel horrible sometimes but i cant help that im in love with this man. On the other hand, im not in it for the material things bc lets face it, this man is not the richest, nor am i in it for the sex. I am actually deeply in love with him. Its not fair that he played with my feelings, but i do believe that initially he cared alot about me. Being with him physically, emotionally, and sexually is like living my own little fantasy. Hes mine for a few mintues, hours, or even nights. And it feels amazing. If i could, I would turn off all the feelings i have for him, but i cant. It is soo hard to let go, especially when I see him everyday. And to be honest, I think that the only reason why he stays with her is because she supports him and babies him. If i had a man spoiling me and supporting me, I wouldnt leave either. Hes comfortable, and thats why he stays. We have such a deep connection with each other that for both of us its hard to just throw away. I wish he didnt have a girlfriend but it is what it is. Ladies honestly, you cant be mad at the "other woman", its not our fault.

Sincerely,
La Otra Mujer

Anonymous said...

I'm the other woman, and not only do I feel bad for his wife, I wouldn't wanna be in her shoes... Still I love him